Centipede!!!

     Although I said that I lost all inspiriation to blog yesterday, I just had to make this post to share one of my biggest fright of all time.  Although you might of had guessed form readig the title, I am really afraid of centipedes... They are just so gross, it totally defies everything with like 30 legs and moving around so fast. To tell the truth they are so icky and they scare the fright out of me...
     Like half an hour ago, I saw a centipede under my bed and I tried to kill it, but it got awau and now I'm freaking out. I use like a whole can of lysol spray (even though it doesn't even kill it) and sprayed everywhere in my room. I'm wondering if it is still under my bed. I used a flashlight and still couldn't find it anywhere, and I'm scared that throughout the night it might climb onto my bed and bite me or something. I'm even more scared of it climbing into my mouth, and me eating it. I don't know if I sleep with my mouth open so I'm scaring myself right now. Currently since I'm blogginga nd you're reading this, right now instead of my feet on the ground, I'm sitting on my chair with my feet where I'm suppose to sit on. So instead of my butt being on the seat itself, it is actually on the place where your back is suppost to be. So I'm sitting on the back on the chair with my feet where my butt is suppose to be. Is it confusing?
     Since I was young I was really scared of all bugs and stuff. I still remember several months back where I saw another house centipede and I freaked out like crazy. I ran from my room screaming all over the house, and oddly my father was in my room, and he luckily he killed it for me. I don't get it, I clean my room like everyday. I make sure there isn't any food scrap anywhere. I wipe the floor, disinfect and do everything to keep my room clean, but still there are bugs in my room...
     Back to my phobia of bugs. I don't understand but somehow I'm not afraid of stuff like snakes, but little bugs scare the creep out of me. Whenever I see any bug, and yes any bug, and I freak out (except at school because there are people around me). Somehow I don't freak out in public because that would be very embarassing. Anyway I'm still sitting on my chair and not putting my foot on the ground and waiting for that centipede to show up so I can kill it...

Leaving

     The post is entirely inspired by my great friend Vanessa leaving her blog for days to weeks. I find it a loss for myself, because I enjoy reading her blog because usually it is quite interesting. Since that she has left, for the past several days I was thinking upon leaving also. I feel as though blogging has changed for me, because when I started blogging I enjoyed the sensation of expressing my thoughts, but for the past several days, I have lost that sensation. I feel as though the experience of blogging has changed from being fun to a job. For the past several weeks, I made sure that I blogged once everyday, and for some reason I kept doing that. I have completely lost all inspiration of new posts, so for the next several days to weeks, I will recover myself through spending time with my family and friends.
     Okay, as you read this far, this is probably the last post in the next several days to week because this is the last stimulus I have. Everything in this world has a begining and ending point. Humans have a birth date where they are born and humans have a death date, where their life cease to exist. Not only do animals and living creatures have an ending but also so does legacies. Since that I am Asian I will talk about Chinese history. There were many great dynasties throughout Ancient China, and each dynatsty led to another. Every dynasty had it's own ideas and throughout that dynasty the idea changes. Changes are happening everyday and every moment that everything lives. As that idea changes it might lead to greatness or hell. Dynasties change when the line of ruler change, and usually that happens through a weak king, and once that happens all ideas of the previous dynasty is dead. That shows that point I'm trying to explain, not only does life leave, but also ideas and other stuff like knowledge will leave Earth.
     Books are the very remanent of knowledge that people want to be eternal, such as the monks of the Middle Ages kept copying books of previous time, so they will not be lost. Some books are very rare and there is only one copy left. Once that one last copy is gone, that knowledge within it leaves. Before books were invented, people kept the knowledge and passed it to younger ones through teaching and ect. Yet people is an unrealiable source because not everyone is fully truthful. If someone carries history throughout their generations, sometime they will leave out parts of defeat or humilitation and that knowedge will leave Earth forever.
     How did I get so sidetracked??? Anyway, the point of this post was suppose to talk about family leaving. As one ages, they grow old, and must accept their final point in life, death. Death can be interperted two different ways, as one's end point, or as one's transitioning point where they leave to a different world. Truthfuly, I am religous and believe in life after death, but someties I wonder where that is. As one leaves Earth, where are they going, another dimension on Earth?  Another world? The list that I can make is endless, and as one leaves, it creates an aura of sadness upon the dead one's close family, and friends. Yet as human is not perfect, we usually keep that sadness inside of us, and never leave. Even as one accepts the leaving, we don't truly forget it, and at times where we are weakess, we are overwhelmed by a feeling of sadness. If we don't handle the sadness correctly, we might make horrible choice such as sudicidal<-- (is that a word?) choices. Whatever I just wanted to write this post to tell people that you must let go of one's death and not hide the sorrow within you, because sorrow can always escape the strongest of cages that one can generate. Even the slighest crack it acn go through and cause unbelievable damage to one's body. Instead letting it out through differnet methods, such as crying, sweating is more healthy...

Expectance

     I cannot believe it, the more I tihkn the more angry I am because I can never live with it. I told my parents that I wanted to go play/learn basketball from my friends at the park, and you know what were their response? It was this "This is very unexpected, we would never expect this from you..." In other terms, it meant no, and that they thought that I would never have any interest in sports except tennis, swimming and ping pong. What is with people and their expectance, you will never know what will happen next so you should not expect anything. But nooooooo, according to my parents my whole life I am going to be smart, and be some type of scientist who would earn $70,000 or more and buy a big house for my wife and have two children. They expect so much, what if I change my want and become so other stuff like a baseball player or something (it wouldn't happen probably because I love science...) People expect too much, like my parents at the beggining of 8th grade, they expected me to get fours (which is the top grade) at Math, Science and English State Test. Also for me to get 90+ on the Algebra and Earth Science Regents and the Spanish Proficency.    
     Living in a world where you are suppose to be smart, and people all think that you will get top grades, is a really hard and demanding world. People expect me to study all day, and stay cooped up in my room and read, but I want to live a life also. It's not like that I am anything different, I am human too. That's why, I sneak out when my parents aren't home, I remember when I was younger (like before I started Middle School) my parents didn't expect sooooo much from me at academics. They were very relaxed at my school grades and they just didn't want anything below an 80 and 3's on state tests, and they were happy... But now all they want are 90's+ and 4's on state tests, which cause a lot of stress. Even my teachers put stress on me, I remember when Senora Borrero, told me that she expects more from me because I have the talents and I should use them... In other words, you could do better so get your butt out of your seat and study.
     Why can't people treat me like normal, that's why next year in high school, I will be an average kid getting 80's and stuff, and not be a nerd (which I am not one). Even my best buddies think that I study when I am at home, which I do not!!! If I look back when I was small, the last test that I actually studied at all was when I was in 3rd grade, when I kept doing math problems before a test. From then on, I don't study because I found on that whenever I study it causes stress on me, and I do worst than when I don't study. So when I was in fourth grade, I didn't even study for a single test, even state tests. I didn't even study for the regents this year, and if people asked if I studied I just said yes, because if I told them th truth that I didn't study they would think that I am lying. So I just said when they expected and lied to make them happy.
     Wow, this post is really long, I guess that I had a lot on my mind for the past several days, because the last several weeks, the posts I wrote were really short like a paragraph. But I like writing longer more detail orientated posts, so I will do what I want....
      Talking about Midwood, on the Seventeenth of July, I went to Midwood High School to take my picture for my School ID, and I met Sharon somehow. We were even on the same bus (which I took because my lazy grandfather said it was too early to drive and he would crash the car because he's too tired). Throughout the whole time there, Sharon was complaining about missing Vanessa, how next year there will not be Vanessa, how she will never find a friend like Vanessa, how Vanessa will not be there and yell at me (because I said something that Vanessa would find yellable), how Vanessa will not be there and say "I need a lolipop", and how she can say to Vanessa "No you want a lolipop". In other words she really missed Vanessa and I had to spend like half an hour hearing her say that in like a hundred different way... I'm proofreading this, and I got really off topic...

Sterotypical Photo

     I just found this photo on Facebook and I think that it is utterly absurd with the meaning. I followed the direction, and found out that I was gay, so whatever. It is totally wrong with males, and even worst for females.

My State Tests

     For some random reasons, only students in NY, and several other states make them take state tests. So thanks to me living in NY, I'm part of the victims on the target. Luckily this year I passed with flying colors. The scores has been released and I looked them up, at Aris Parent Link, (link below) and I found my score. I am very happy with myself, and I want to buy a new tablet to make myself happy... I got a 4 in Math, 4 in English, and a 4 in Science.... Yah!!!!

Link: https://arisparentlink.org/parentlink

P.S. I want to give a shoutout to all my viewers because I finally passed my 200th pageview milestone...

Cesars Bay

     Yesterday, I went running on the trail of Cesars Bay with my friends, and let me tell you that it was extremely long and tiring. The trail itself is 5 miles, and I had to run there and back, so I ran 10 miles yesterday. Right now my leg still hurts from it and I think that I'm getting a callus, so I'm going to got to Rite Aid later, and buy those salt thingy, that makes your leg feel sooo much better. I took so many photos of myself and the water, and I will be posting the photos sometime next week, because right now I'm feeling lazy. I'm wondering if the salt is on sale, because I only have like $20 left from my month's allowance.

My Job

     My job isn't one that I actually get paid, but instead it's a hobby of mine that I like to do. That hobby is blogging, and I'm kinda making it my job. Actually I can get paid by google, with adsense, but I don't want to. Instead of making money, I just like to write and share my life with you. Right now I'm hungry and I want to eat, but I just went out running with friends, so I can't or else I will be really fat. I'm thinking of blogging once every weekday, and on weekends, I can just save whatever I wrote for the weekends. Yeah, I guess I would do that...

The Two Videos

     Finally, I decided to not be lazy and take the videos out of my cell phone. Well, I could've just uploaded it directly from my cell phone, but I always use my laptop so to keep the tradition, I just pulled it out of my cell phone. I really liked these videos, it portrays the serenity of the park really well. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do...

Collage in 5 Minutes...

     I decided to challenge myself in making a collage in 5 minutes. Sadly I didn't accomplish it in 5 minutes. From taking the photos to decorating it took me about 10 minutes. I did it really fast and didn't spend much times so it looks really crude and not beautiful. Also, I didn't have alot of ideas, but next time I'll make a better collage. I'll make one in about another 2 or 3 days...

Sorry, but the picture is on my other blog, which is restricted to only friends. If you want to view, click here: http://weirdbuckettailphotosedition.blogspot.com/

If you want to view post your email below, and I'll probably add you to audience... Sorry if you're denied access...

Photos of Me

     According to my parents, showing my face to the public is dangerous, so from now on, any photos containing my face would be moved to my private blog which is linked below. Audience is limited to people who view my blog that I know. Please do not share the photos because I can get in big trouble from my parents. My father can track my photos so please don't copy to anywhere. I don't get it, what harm can it cause, but I trust my parents so I'm doing what they say. I will probably update the private blog whenever I get new photos containing my face. (It won't be often) If you want to view the blog comment and put the email address that you're blog is listed under. and I"ll add you to the audience... Have a good night!!!

Blog Link:

http://weirdbuckettailphotosedition.blogspot.com/

The Weather

     The weather seems to hate me, and whenever I have plans it ruins it for me. Tomorrow I wanted to go to the beach and walk the Coney Island Boardwalk, but tomorrow it's only going to be 84 degrees upmost. I don't want to freeze to death on the beach, because it is alway colder there. So now I have to stay home instead again... Also to make matters worst, the whole next week it's going to be raining. And to make matters even worst, my mother decided to cancel our trip to China this summer. ; _ ;

OOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!

     Really weird title right? I just saw that I just recieved my first Hungarian  viewer!!! Whatever I just wanted to say that!!!

Photos I Took During the Hiking Trip

Stuff I Wrote During Hiking Trip

Entry 1 (Before I Arrived at Prospect Park):

     Part 1: Currenty I'm sitting on the Q train and it's getting really akward. There's a guy sitting opposite of me wearing a really short pair of atheltic shorts, and the pair of shorts is really tight. It is showing off his extremely pair of hairy leg and while sitting here I'm really creeped out, but whatever. I'm sitting here listening to a movie, and I'm whdering what I'll see at prospect park...

     Part 2: Whatever right now all that I'm thinking is that if it's going to rain, because it is really cloudy right now, and Í really don't want to wike/hike when it rains. Luckily I bough an umbrella with me.

Entry 2 (At Prospect Park):

     Part 1: I'm here but I'm kind of lost. I'm just being bored and all I'm doing is walking and trying to find the trail.

     Part 2: I just saw my first beautiful sight!!! It was a minature waterfall. Even as I walk away from it I can still hear the beauty of the rushing water. I'm on the other side of the waterfall now, and it's even more beautiful from afar.

     Part 3: After like 20 minutes of confusion and me being lost I'm finally back on track...

     Part 4: Today was great after all. Although I was lost a million times today, I won't forget it. Right now I'm sitting besides the water watching waterfowls feed, and hearing the sounds of the water rushing down the mini waterfall. I'm wondering when I'll come back but I wish that it would be soon because I love it here. Next time I'm sure that I'll make more videos of this beautiful hikin gtrail but this time sadly I only have enought room for two videos. Whatever I love it here. I still remember that at the start of the trail a bug fell on my hand from the tree and I fraked out. All throughout the trail there were many bugs and insects and I was afraid of them. At the beginning of the trail is was really mysterious and at once I thought that I saw a cadaver. Luckily it was just a person sunbathing. Whater I don't want to leaer here.

Entry 3 (Going Home):

     Part 1: Sitting on the train right now alone and I'm thinking about all the stuff that I saw today. There were many plants and when I coming this morning on the train, there was this creepy dude weaing athletic pants that were extremely short and his legs were really hairy. Right now across from me is an old guy that balding and he's wearing slacks and boots that look really ugly together.

     Part 2: Just got off the train and instead of taking the bus to near my house I'm walking home from the station because I got fatter over the summer...


Whatever, I know that this post is really long, but it is what I wrote during the trip, and what I though. Thanks for reading!!!

Raindrops

     Right now it's raining near my house yet agian. On the other day, when it was thunderstorming near my house, it was really spectacular. That day I was not allowed to open the window, because if I did the rain would enter my house like crazy. Luckily today it isn't pouring outside, so the window next to me is open, and I'm staring at every raindrop. I compared thunder to the sky farting, and now I think of the raindrops of the sky peeing, and the more I think, hail comes to my mind as the sky pooping. Whatever, I just wanted to share that rain gazing is really fun, but after like an hour you start to get sleepy. So to combat my sleepy brain I'm blogging!!!

Hiking Yesterday

     Yesterday's hike was really fun and really interesting. I saw many different things that I usually don't see, because we live in a city. Prospect Park was really large, and I got lost like a million times, and I almost hurt myself once. I took many photos and 2 videos, and I even wrote doen stuff that I felt in my phone. I'm too lazy to scan through them, and pick photos that I like, so probably the photos and the things I wrote, would be published sometime next week. I would recommend anyone to go hiking, because it was really fun. However, the hiking trail was really smelly, because it thunderstormed the day before, and I'm going back again next Sunday... I wonder what new stuff I would see.

Hiking Today!!!

     Today I'm going hiking at Prospect Park with my friends, but however it seems as if it's going to rain. Now I'm debating whether or not should I go, but I think I would. Since it might rain, it's going to be less warm, so I don't have to swelter in the heat like yesterday. I wonder even if the hiking trails are safe? I never actually went hiking before at those trails, I usually just go boating, or something. Whatever I'll pray that I'm going to be safe, so wish me luck!!! I'll post photos of how nice the trail was later!!!

It's Raining, It's Pouring, The Old Man is Snoring!!!

It's Raining,
It's Pouring,
The Old Man is Snoring!!!

     I learned that rhyme in fifth grade, and to this day, I have several other versions such as:

It's Raining,
It's Pouring,
The Old Man Is Peeing!!!

It's Raining,
It's Pouring,
The Old Man is Snoozing!!!

     Whatever, I just wanted to share that I ove to watch thunderstorms, because I like watching lightning, and every raindrop falling from the sky. Whenever it thunderstorms, I look out in the garden, and see it pour on the trees and grass. Yet since now I'm in the living room, I can also hear the raindrops fall on the air conditioner, going drip drop... Hearing the thunder also makes me happy, it's like the sky farting!!!

Waking Up

     I don't get it, my parents would get up early in the morning like at 7 am, and eat breakfast at 8am, with my sister, but I don't wake up untill they're eating lunch. This morning I already woke up early at like 1:30 pm, and they were starting their lunch. Usually I would wake up at like 2 pm, and they would leave my lunch on the kitchen counter and tell my to microwave it back. Also, on Facebook, I see people posting status and doing stuff early in the morning at like 8 am, its not like we are going to school or anything, so why wake up early in the morning? Whatever, I just don't get anyone these days.

The 100th Pageview!!!

     Finally, after about two months, I finally gotten my 100th pageview, and I'm very happy... Usually getting pageviews, I would be glad that people are reading my blog, and I have a great feeling. But right now, I cannot explain my happiness with this big milestone for my blog. I thank everyone for reading my long, and boring posts that describe what I think!!!

Russian Viewer

     I cannot believe it, this week I had more views from Russia that United States. Totally this week as of now, I had 33 pageviews, 15 from United States, 2 from Germany, and do the math for Russia. This is just weird, and now I'm even more curious from who is viewing my blog that I use to from like a day ago. Anyway, I just wanted to share this news with you!!!

Skinny Jeans?

     Okay the story goes like this: The jeans that I ordered from Ebay finally came, but however, I got the wrong jeans... The Levis jean that I ordered were slim straight but what came was a skinny jean. Right now I'm debating whether or not to ever wear that skinny jean... I never really wear skinny jeans, I usually wear slim, bootcut, or straight jeans. The pair of jeans fir me but I really don't know whether I should wear it or not... My mother tells me that I look fine, but I think the jean makes my thighs look even fatter than they were... I wanted to buy a pair of new jeans, to go to Midwood on the 17th, but now I just dont know anymore...

Here's a picture:

(Vanessa if your reading this, please tell me whether or not I should wear it, because I trust that you will tell the truth...)

Commercials

     Commercials are how free sites make money, when we watch their video. Anyway, sometimes the commercials are boring and long, and they are pointless but I like the commercials on Yahoo.com. I especially like the commericals where Wonka's Sweet Tarts are advertised. The advertisement is like a computer animated world with guys playing guitars and girls dancing while playing an electric piano... There were many colorful strands, like the musical strands with notes on them... While watching them, it got me hunry for candies. While talking about commericals it reminds me of the toilet guy... Technically it was a korean celebrity born on June 11th, who advertised for Toyota. (Vanessa if you're reading this, please tell me whether I was right with the facts of the toilet guy...) He became the toilet guy because when Vanessa who calls him the toyota guy, was talking about him, a classmate thought that she heard the toilet guy and from now on, he's called the toilet guy... I just wanted to say that.

     I know this post stinks, but I lost all inspiration for this post because I didn't finish it like two days ago...

The MTA

     So today I went to the Buddish Temple but instead of going by car, my father decided to go by bus and train. He said that today there'll probably be a lot of traffic in the tunnels or bridges, and he doesn't like to wait in traffic... I rather wait in traffic, because I like sitting in his car instead of sitting in the trains. The train's stats are plastic and hard, while the car's are leatherly and soft and doesn't hurt my butt. Usually I would wait for them to come home, but however, today, it was really humid outside, so after I went to the temple, prayed, I jsut went home... I don't know how much longer did they spend in the temple, but I really can careless. Anyway, when I was coming home there were no seats, so I had to stand like an hour. While I was standing on the train, for some random reasons everyone were couples. I felt like the odd one out, and even weirder I saw a friend on mine, (he's 17) with his girlfriend... I felt so uncomfortable, I decided to move cars... Currently, I'm hungry because for breakfast which I ate like at 11, all that I had was two pieces of chinese bread with two pieces of thin spam between them... I wonder what should I eat, I want to eat instant noodle, but they aren't really healthy...

Unfinished Posts & My Horrible Morning

     To tell the truth I have a short attention span, and if something I'm doing such as blogging it takes too long to htink of how to express my thoughts, I lose attention. For example, I've been working on the Post "Commercials" for like 2 days... Somehow, if I don't finish a post I never finish it. I have like 4 pots that were never posted becuase they were never completed... I really want to finish "Commericals" but I lost all inspiration on it. If I don't finish it all at once, I feel as though I cannot finish it, because there aren't anything left to write... Just like now, if I don't finish this post, it would never be published.

     Okay this morning I had to wake up early. Seriously I didn't but my father decided to wake me up today because he took a day off so my family could go to a temple... I slept at like 2 AM yesterday, usually I would sleep at like 3, but I dosed off after listening to music. I always get tired after listening to music that are slow and sad... (Reason why I don't listen to Taylor Swift, I'm scared I will sleep when I'm somewhere I shouldn't such as in a cafe eating.) Anyway, this morning at like 10:50, he decided to wake me up not by coming in and say "Wake Up" but instead he decided to vaccum my room, and he said that my room is dirty. Yep it's dirty  because there's a 0.1 millimeter layer of dust... I cannot scream, well I could, but he wouldn't pay attention because he cannot hear it tahat well, I feel as though he picked this model because of it's loudness... Also, instead of someone cooking my breakfast I had to do it myself. I just got lazy so instead of frying sme bacon, spam, and eggs, I just fried two pieces of spam, and put it between two pieces of chinese bread. And now my parents are still getting ready, while I'm here blogging for like 30 minutes. Why didn't they just wake me up so that when I can leave, they can also, and not just make me wait for them... This reminds me of the post Sharon made called "Asian Parents" but instead of going to Costco I'm going to a Buddist Temple..To tell the truth I'm actually really supersitious, I believe in gods, ghosts, vampires, spirits and ect. Somehow whenever I'm in a predicament whenever I pray to god, they help me, and from then on I trust them more and more. (Why am I talking about god???) Oh well, currently I'm so tired and I want to sleep!!!

Impatience

     I'm still working on the post "Commercial" but I want to spend time telling you about my impatience of watching TV shows. I like to watch TV shows and movies, and I especially like to watch funny or goofy ones. However if whatever I watch is long or boring I usually skip to the end, and then later, I will go back and watch it. For example, I was so bored and I didn't want to work on the post, so instead I searched through shows and stuff and I saw something interesting. It was called Di-Gata, and I watched the first episode. It was really interesting and catchy, so I watched the second. There was like several seasons with like a hundred episodes. I wanted to know how it ended, so I just watched the last episode. Usually after missing so much, everything you would watch would be confusing and un-understandable. However, I actually understood what happened in the in between episodes somehow... Whatever I know this post is stupid but I wanted to share what I do when I watch movies and TV shows...

I'm One Month Old!!!

     I got the stimulus of writing this post from Vanessa. After seeing her post "One Month Already?" I suddenly realized that it was the one month birthday of my blog also... I found out that the font size of my blog is too small, so I will once again be searching the internet for a better template although I really perfer this one, but whatever... I still remember why I created this blog, it wasn't actually my first priority that day, instead it was all due to my friend, Vanessa. (If your reading this Vanessa, I thank you so much, because you made me start doing something that I really love doing these days, blogging.) That day, I was chatting b with her on Facebook, and she asked me if I started my blog yet, and I said no, so she told me that I should start already, and I said okay, and I did it... And now, currently I usually blog once a day or two... But sometimes I have so much on my mind, I blog like twice, or even three times (I still remember that night where I wrote three whole posts...)      Anyway, back on the blog, it is a way where I let out what I'm thinking, whether I'm mad at some teacher, Mr. Musser, or I'm just bored and am staring at the moon at night, or just complaining about something that happened to me that day, such as getting yelled at by my stupid sister. After a month of blogging, sadly I only have two followers, and sadly, both are my friends...

Here, I'm saying thank you to all the views of my blog, because without you, reading, I really wouldn't blog because it would be pointless if no one reads it...

     I've been frequently getting views from Russia, and I'm curious who it is. Out of 87 pageviews, I've gotten 11 page views from that person, and it's quite alot. And another 5 from Germany... I feel as if my blog is freelance writing for me... I usually have something to express at first like a real world thing that has nothing to do with me, such as the post that I'm working on at the same time, that I will probably post sometime tomorrow and it's called comercials. Each of these posts that have something to do with the world, usually has some intervention with me... I don't just write about something out of the blue, wait, I should actually do that, but it might instead just be an essay for school or something... I remember before trying to blog and I had it last year and the blog was called, Shadow Blog (I was really into ninjas last year...) but however half way, I just gave up on it after several posts, because I had nothing to write about... However, now, I have so much on my mind and I like to write about it, unliek last year where I didn't like to express anything and jsut keep the things to myself. Something that is faboulous, and I mean really GOOD happened to me on Monday... It was a great gift, but I still wonder when it is going to come to me... However the more I dwell on it the more I fear it, anything good has a bad side, just as a coin has two sides. I still think that, the gift would cause bad things when I grow up...

     When I started the blog, about a week later, my family was thinking about moving back to China... My father wanted to go back to China, but my mother doesn't. If we do move I'm still going to continue blogging about my changing life. If I don't I will be a lot happier because going through that wouldn't be fun or anything. (How did I get to talking about moving to China?) Currently my father and sister is fighting in the kitchen because my sister is cooking beef and he asked her why she was opening the flame, but my sister didn't answer so he turned off the gas. Than my sister started to scream "Why did you turn off the flames?" He said that she didn't answer and she said why can't she not answer, because my father always doesn't answer people... and now they're arguing...

     Anyway, again back on topic, blogging is becoming something that I do occasionally because my life is filled with happiness and misery. By blogging I feel as if I'm talking to a therapist, instead I'm talking to you right now. It really gets my mind off of what's happening or I just really want to share something great (Vanessa, here I give you a warning of the sentence) like how my cousin Jake sleeps nude... Anyway, I really like blogging and I will not quit for a long time...

Peter

     Peter is my other best friend from my family. Although he is shyish and really doesn't like to talk, he's fun... Whenever I spend time with him though, I have to think of all the things to say and ask, but he sometimes does talk. He's the only one in my family that's a guy, and that's around my age. Although he's born in March and he's an Aries, I don't know if our horoscopes match, (I'm a Pisces) we get along well. Whenever I hang out with him, I usually bring other people out with me, such as my friend Zack, or Stephen... I like eating out with him though, because I usually order a lot of stuff, but I never finish it, and his stomach is a bottomless pit, but somehow he still stays slim... Whenever I don't finish stuff, I give it to him, and somehow he seems to enjoy being a trash can... He's a great partner at tennis also. Whenever I play with him, it's a great workout, he can somehow return every ball that I give him. Peter is just like my friend Vanessa, he always talks about horoscope, for example, last time I asked him to go swimming, he said not, because for Aries, it wasn't a good day for water sports... Seriously, it's just a horoscope, so if it says that you cannot eat that day, you would starve yourself? Well, I know that Peter would. There aren't many great memories with Peter, because he usually doesn't do funny, or playful stuff like Jake, but he's still a great cousin. You can really pour out your soul to him. He can sit still for like an hour, while you complain about this and that, and he would listen to every single detail. He's a bit emotional sometimes, he isn't afraid to cry, and I respect hiim for that, I remember when his pet bird died, he was crying through the phone for an hour, and I tried to calm him down. I feel as though sometimes he's my therapist, and he's a great advice giver. Last time when I mad at Vlad for posting the video, he told me that I should forgive him, and with the adive that Vanessa gave me I did forgive Vlad aka, the hummingbird. (P.S. Vanessa I will not forget the hummingbird cake...) Peter and I are like a left and right hand, it always works out, we never actually got in fights because he always agrees with me, and I always agree with him... I don't think that we would actually get in fights. Whenever he stays over at my house, we usually watch stupid cartoons like Kick Buttowski, and Kickin It. I wish that our relationship would last a life time... Losing him would be really sad.

Jacob

     Jacob is one of my cousins that I usually refer in the Norvil side. I break up my family into three parts: Angelic, Normal, and Evil. There are few in my Angelic side, but majority of my family is in the Normal section. However, Jacob is in between Normal and Evil section, so he is a Norvil. He isn't actually mean in any way, he actually is nice and helpful, but sometimes he pulls nasty pranks on  me that makes me embarassed. He's about half a year older than me, but I get along really well with him, I actually sometimes think of him as my best family member, well at least between him and Peter (I'll talk about him later..) Jake (what I and everyone in the family calls him) and I have been friends since I remember, I think that I was in Pre-K so probably like 5. He's always really playful, so sometimes it gets really annoying, for instance yesterday by the pool side, I was lying down on the floor and trying to read.... He wanted to swim and he wanted me to swim with him (he doesn't like to be alone), I declined so he started to get playful... Let's skip everything and just say that I was all wet, and my book was soaking wet. Also I remember the time when I was 7, he wanted to play tag around my house, but I knew my mom would say no, so I told him to not. He started to annoy me, so that I would chase him around the house, I fell for it, and even though it was fun, he broke a vase that I think was $100... No matter what, I still like him, he nice, playful, and really fun to hang out with. Let's start talking about good times with him and me..... I remember last year, when I wanted to go to Coney Island with my friends, but my ex-friends were busy. I called him and he went with me, but I found that my friends secretly went tomorrow without me. When Jake found out, he stood up for me, and that was really nice of him. Also, Jake spent many of my first times with me, for example, the first time that I bought a computer he went with me (he got one also). Also, when I started Middle School, Jake slept over at my house the night before school started. There were many memories....

• One time when we went to 86th Street and we ate at that Kowloon Cafe shop, he decided to order something that he couldn't finish eating, so he asked me to finish it. He's actually the only one except Peter who I would share food, or drinks with... I wasn't even done with my food, so I said no and I wasn't done with my food. He never gives up, so instead he told the waiter to pack my food, and that waiter actually did it.... So instead, I ate his to fill up my tummy... :)
• I was shopping with Jake, and Peter together at Kings Plaza, and he wanted to buy new clothes. I just went because I wanted to hang out with them. Jake was shopping at Old Navy, and he was trying on pants. The size that he got was too big, so instead of him going to get a smaller size, he decided to make me go... I said whatever, and I got it for him, when I went to the changing room, instead of just putting on his pair of pants and come out to get the pair of pants himself, he made me go in... (I wonder why didn't he just stick his hand out for it) I said whatever again and I just went in... When I went in, he dumped a plastic snake on me, and I freaked out!!! I ran out of the chaning room, and when I found out it was a fake, I was laughing like crazy....
• Personally, I don't like watching scary movies, but I do like to watch it when I'm with people. Jake was sleeping over at my house and we were watching Insidious on Netflix. The movie itself was really great, I like both the plot, and the characters, but the movie was scary... I usually hide behind the person who I watching the movie with's back. But instead of that, Jake wanted to hide behind mine's. We were fighting over who get's to be behind the other's, so instead we just were like covering our faces with my blanket... And through the scary parts, we would like hug each other and saying "Lah Lah Lah" loudly over and over again, until the parts were over. That night was so fun even though it was scary...
• Whenever Jake decides to sleep over, we would usually share my queen sized bed. We would usually stay in my room the whole day, except the summer season, because my mother doesn't want an AC in my room. She says that sleeping with an AC isn't good for you... Anyway at night, I don't know why but he likes to pull my blanket away if we're sharing one, at other times if we aren't sharing one, somehow throughout the night he would lose his, and take mine. So sleeping with him is not a good thing, however I like talking to him at like 4 AM in the morning. Whenever I wake up, or if he wakes up, we would wake the other one up. Then we would talk until we get tired and sleep. I learned a lot about his everyday like by this. It's like a way for us to connect.
• Again about Jake sleeping over, he never wears anything!!! Every time he sleeps over, I would have extra pairs of pajamas. When we would get ready for bed, instead of him changing into pajamas, he would take off his pant, and then instead take off his boxer's. Every time I beg him to just wear pajamas, or just wear his boxers, or just even wrap a towel and pin it around himself.... But.... no he wouldn't. He woud sleep nude, and sleep next to me. My mother already knows not to ever come into my room when he's over... And at night, sometimes he would come around and sleeps close to me. And sometimes he crosses his leg on me, and it is really weirds. He would wake up in the morning and wake me up also, and he would just get up, and not change yet... He would use my computer and does everything nude!! I would see him naked and yet he's not embarassed. By now I am not uncomfortable anymore...

     Not matter what, he's still my cousin, and he's my best family buddy!!! If you're reading this Jake, wear PANTS!!! 

The Beach!!!

     Like yesterday, today I''m staying over at my aunt's for the night again!! Another night filled with funtastic events. Tomorrow, my aunt is thinking of keeping us again for the night, I really hope the my mom and my other aunts and uncles would say yes!!! Today instead of staying at our aunt's house we went to the beach!!! I did so many crazy things today with my cousins, but for starters let's talk about what happened to me. Okay, my cousin Jake decided to put fake blood on his hand to scare me but I knew it was fake because Peter already told me that he would do it. (Yep this whole post is about me, Jake, and Peter!!) I pretended to faint, and fell on the sand, I wondered what they would do with my, Peter even thought that I actually fainted... Jake had to carry me on his back all the way from the water back to the place where my family was... All my aunts, uncles, and more was there, there was like, 10 adults there with so many kids that were my cousins. I usually hand out with Peter, and Jake, and sometimes Michael. Jake and Peter is my age, well Jake is 15 and Peter is 14 and 1/2, just like me. Back to the story, when we were half way there, I decided to start tickling Jake, and he told Peter to stop, and I started to laugh, Jake was so startled, I fell on top of him... It was so funny.... I found a crab at the beach, and I decided to put it in Jake's shorts to get REVENGE... I think that it clipped Jake's butt, and he started to jump around, and I pulled it out of there... He was so scared of it... Also, the water was quite cold at the beach, and when I stood at the water, I wanted to slowly go in, because I don't want to freeze. But however Jake decided to run and jump on top of me, and I fell head first into the water. So after I got up, I jumped back on top of him, and I pushed him into the ground, (his head was still about water). Today was soo funn!! For dinner currently we're eating grilled stuff like yesterday! It seems as if that my aunt has an endless supply of chicken wings, leg, beef steak, ribs, and ect...

Sleep

     Sleep is something that is very important in a human being's life, but however majority of the times, American's don't have enough of it. For example, last night me and my cousin's slept at 3AM, but however this morning, somebody decided to drop a pan while cooking waking my and Jake up..... Sadly I only obtained about 9 hours of sleep!!! I sleep usually like 12 hours during the summer but whatever, my aunt just told us that we are staying over another night today!!! YAH!!! More fun!!! I wonder what's her plan today..... Beach? Coney Island? She usually has the best ideas, and even my mother had fun yesterday, and if you're wonder, my father isn't here because he flew back to Hong Kong for family issues...... Oh well, who cares, it's not like I get along with him.... Currently I'm thinking of making my cousin Peter pick his own nose, or better yet, make him hold a plastic spider and wake him up!!! That would be so funny, I'm going to think of more stuff to do to him, so bye!!! Enjoy your wonderful summer day!!!!

Weirdos

     I officially declare that my cousins are big weridos, from their tastes of movies, to stuff that they enjoy to do. Almost everyone in my family, including me, are weridos. We all enjoy to do the wackiest of stuff that doesn't even makes sense, but however the sensations are just halarious. For example, today me and my family had a BBQ in my aunt's house which lasted from 10AM to 11PM, and everyone is still in my aunt's house for a sleepover. My cousin Michael, decided to cut my beef steak from how it was cut, to a heart, with a hole in the middle. I don't get it, but to him it was funny, to get back at him, before he was going to eat his hot dogs, I sprinkled/dumped salt on it. Let's just say that he spitted it out instantly, and when we went to get a drink from his can of soda, let's say that it tasted like barbaque sauce.

     After we ate the big barbaque for brunch (that's what my aunt called it) it went all uphill. We went inside the house, and me and my cousins had so much fun. My cousin Michael decided to take a swim at the pool, and we were enjoying it, but my cousin Peter decided to prank us by saying that he took a pee in the pool, and we all ran out of it, but however it was just a joke. Also we played Marco Polo, and when I was blinded, my other cousin Jake, decided to trip me, and I feel into the pool. To have revenge on Jake, I decided when we were playing tennis, I pantsed him, and he was soooo embarassed.... It was so funny, and he was wearing something that was so funny.....

     The stuff that we did today in order (at least for me) was:

• Have a BBQ
• Watch TV
• Swim
• Play Marco Polo
• Have a water gun fight
• Splash water around
• Play Tennis
• Eat Dinner
• Write on my blog with my cousin staring

Here's a note from Jake:

     "Victor is nice, but DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT get on his bad side......" (I put the quotes, not Jake)


     Thank's Jake, your so nice..... But whatever, I had so much fun today!!!! I wish that I always have this much fun everyday!!!!

P.S. The older people were playing mahjong.....

Paranoid

     I am not at all being paranoid. Somehow, these couple of days, whenever I look at Yahoo News, there is always something about World War II, Anne Frank, Holocaust..... For example, since I'm so bored right now and I'm rewatching all of Kevjumba's videos, and I just go to Yahoo homepage and right there is the article "Photos of Anne Frank's friends after WWII." The horrific images of the movie The Diary of Anne Frank keeps poping up in my mind. Just thinking of Anne being seperated by force from her father in the train station by the Nazis makes me so sad. It makes me think of being seperated from my mother... That is so sad, and whenever I think of it, it makes me so depressed.......

A Good Memory

     A good memory is mostly a good thing, but however, a coin has two sides to it. Having a good memory has many good things to it, such as suceeding at school, and remembering stuff. However, it can also lead to a life of misery. Sad things that happens to me, I can remember it for a long time, and I keep remembering it, therefore, it keeps haunting me. For example, back to the whole Anne Frank thing, I can remember those horrific scenes for quite a long time. Tonight, for some random reasons, Anne Frank's tortous life, keeps poping up in my head. It is making me really sad, and torturing me. Other things that happened last year, is also haunting me. I do not feel like mentioning what happened but the date, June 17 is a day that I regret forever in my life. I can never repeat what I ever did on that day. I feel as though these memories of sadness would torture me forever........

Horror

     There are several reasons to why I do not like to watch sad, scary and other depressing movies. First reason is that if I watch a sad movie such as Anne Frank I will never get it out of my head. Second, I will remember the scary or sad parts for life, for example, when I think I was like 8, my cousin showed me of a movie, where a guy walks down the staircase, but however, he has no knowledge of a woman ghost, who is crying in the corner, and the whole scene turns green. Third, sometimes when I watch a sad movie such as Anne Frank, I will ocmpare her and me, and whenever I get something specials such as a new pair of $30 jeans, I feel really bad. Well this whole post is mostly about me, after watching Anne Frank like 2 weeks ago. Almost everyday when I shower, I always think of stupid things like me flying, me being rich, me being a king, but however now, after I watched Anne Frank, I always think of:

•  What if the next day in America, they started rounding up Asians?
•  What if I have to go to concentration camp?
•  What if I have to go in hiding?
•  What if my mother or father dies?
•  What if I die?
•  What if..........

     You get what I mean, I'm now being haunted by that movie. I keep think of Anne in the concentration camp, and I'm going crazy. I feel like I want to go to counsueling but however, I don't want to. Seriously, I feel really down, and I'm scared what will happen next in life, would it be good or will I have to suffer. I know I should treasure every moment of my life, but whenver I try, it always ends up bad. I don't know how I'm going to overcome the graphic images....... (and I'm glad I didn't watch till the end).................

Insecurity.......

     Currently I just got a new haircut, and I kinda like it, but I also don't...... I wonder what my friends would say..... Currently I'm indecisive between whether I like it or not......

     What do you think?

"Issues"

     Today I finally had enough with my sister, she treats me disrespectfully, and horribly, so after many years today I finally had enough. I'm starting to have "issues" with my sister..... and now I'm giving her the silent treatment. It's like all over with Vlad from school, but however after several years of mistreatment of me, I'm kind of having trouble with giving her the silent treatment. I so want to yell at her and tell her how I feel, but I much rather stay in my room, and just give her the stupid idiotic silent treatment. I have the feeling that she doesn't even notice that I am avoiding her.
      I have noticed that today's mooon has shifted it's position in the sky once again. It seems less full and becoming less luminous. It might be due to the brighter lights in the area. I don't understand why these past days I'm spending my nights staring at the sky. I feel as if it's becoming an addiction.....

Siblings

     A sibling relationship is suppose to be filled with joy, happiness, and help. Many people I know get along with their siblings even if they do have arguments, but in the end they can always rely on each other. It is the total opposite with my sister. I cannot ever depend on her, trust her, rely on her, or even ask her to do anything for me. My sister is the incarnation of a mean person, to everyone else such as friends, teachers, and ext. she is an angel. But however to family she is the total opposite. She is mean, demanding, and she can tell people to do something for her (and she never says please, or thank you) but no one can tell her to do anything. She is like a witch on the inside, but however, she is masked as an angel. To her friends she is polite, quiet, and nice, but however at home she is the opposite. Yesterday when I was at Cesar's Bay hanging out with my friends, before I left the house she told me to buy her a frosty. I went to buy clothing (and I got some really great skinny jeans) and hang out, but I had plans afterwards. I wanted to go to 86th street with my friends and have fun, but she said no. She told me that I had to come home straight away so her frosty won't melt. I had to stand in line for 25 minutes because there was so many people, and each person ordered like 5 trays of food. And when I came home all she said was "Why is my frosty melted?" She didn't even say thank you. I was suffering in line, and all I got from her was an insult. I so wanted to rip the stupid frosty out of her hands and throw it on the floor, and tell her she didn't deserve it, but however, I somehow held it all in..... There is no word of how I can describe my anger at this sibling relationship between me and her. All I can think of is that she uses me, and she never even says thank you, but somehow each time after everything I still obey her commands like a dog. I guess that I am just a too nice of a person. Sometimes I say no, and she starts saying that she will never buy me candy again...... But however I notice that whenever she buys me candy, it is always when she is going out just to buy candy and nothing else, I never ask her to change her plans with her friends just for me. It seems that as I am just a peasant to her, while she is the queen. She is so disrespectful to me, but I guess that is what a family member is here for, to help you even in the most gruesome case. However I do wonder whether she thinks of me as a brother, or as just another person to do her bidding................

Graduation

     Graduations are symbolic of where you complete one milestone in your self, but however, it starts you on your next journey of your life. As anyone hopes, the happiness of a graduation, the self-pride, and feeling of completeness would last forever, but however it would not. After you complete a graduation, you endure a feeling of emptiness, a trail of self want, and trying to find the next step in your life. For exmaple, after my graduation of middle school, I cannot expect what would happen next year in Midwood High School. Will it be fun? Sad? Horrible? Will I meet any new friends? Will I be popular? Will I be smart? Will I be average? Will I be below average? I cannot ask a thousand questions, but however, every night before I sleep, I ask myself these questions. I do not know what to expect, I go though a feeling of being a child all over again. However there I one good thing of changing schools, I will start once again on a new clean slate. I don't have to be the smart, perfect student that I was in middle school. I could just be a friendly, somewhat smart guy that everyone enjoys hanging around. But however, I don't know how to do that. [I just cannot believe how much I am pouring my soul into this one post.] Feeling lost is not a good feeling to have, neither is doubt, nor helplessness. I wonder what the next school year would be like.....................

A Promise

     Promises are something where you vow to do something forever, but somehow many people are always breaking their promises. Promises can be foolish to someone, but however to another, it might mean the world. Promises are something that is really important, and when you make a promise you try your best to not break it. But somehow, my family is always breaking promises, even though they try not too. I usually don't break promises to other people, but however, I find myself always breaking promises, that I promise myself. For example, this summer I vowed to go to summer school, but however, I am not in nor am I going to attend summer school. This summer I just want to relax, sit by the window, and gaze at the sun the whole day. Right now instead of gazing at the sun, I'm sky watching a dark starless sky, that just has a  moon as it's only and center piece. Promising something is a big thing, and before you make one, you should always ask yourself, "Will I be able to keep this promise?" and if the answer is no, don't make it, instead tell the person the truth instead, tell them instead "I cannot promise, but however, I will try my hardest to                           ."  The more I think upon this subject the more I can of people voiding promises. For example, when you get married, the priest will ask you do you accept (blank person) as your (blank) and you say "I do" the words "I do" are like a promise of keeping him'/her forever in your life as your counterpart. However, i n the United States, 1 in 2 marriages ends up in divorce, or living separately. Also, when you are married, you vow to be forever truthful, but however, many married couples keeps secrets from one another. (Am I talking too much about marriages?) Whenever you make a promise, make sure that you could keep it. <--- That is a very helpful advice, because once you void a promise, no one will ever trust in you again, and I mean FOREVER!!!

The Starry/Not So Starry Night Sky

     The Night Sky to me is a blessing, it;s so serene yet it its own way a whole new busy world. Outside in the dark night sky I can imagine a whole mythical world filled with it's own creatures, dragons, elves, pixies, fairies, ect. And within its core, is the big full moon. Although tonight I'm not sure if the moon is full, to me it is a beautiful full moon. While it's emitting a luminous vibrant white glow with an aura of yellow, it reminds me  of a TV show. Just off topic for a moment, in the TV show called, T.U.F.F. Puppy, an evil villainous rat thought that the moon was made of cheese and he wanted to destroy it because he is allergic to cheese. Also, what rats are allergic to cheese? I though that cheese is like their favorite food, but however I might be wrong because that is just a famous stereotype. Anyway, back on topic of the night sky, in New York, you can't really see a night sky filled with stars, it's already hard to see the moon, so how could you see the stars? It makes me really sad, the stars are beautiful yet we New Yorkers cannot appreciate a beautiful night sky filled with stars. [Sigh]

     Each star might be it's own world where we cannot see, we might be seen to other worlds as just another bright star filled with artificial light which are blocking their lights from being see by us. A starry night is nothing special to people living in the middle area of the United States, but however in New York it is something close to impossible. With street and house lights always being lit, the glow of a star is overshadowed and becomes invisible. Sight of a moon is somewhat rare, but however I do believe one day, the beauties of the night sky would be visible to people living in New York. 

     The beauty of the night sky might not be brought to us, but however we can bring ourselves to it. For example, we could go on a vacation to somewhere, such as Texas where there are much fewer light sources, and we could gaze at the beautiful night sky. (Am I becoming too redundant?)