Weirdos

     I officially declare that my cousins are big weridos, from their tastes of movies, to stuff that they enjoy to do. Almost everyone in my family, including me, are weridos. We all enjoy to do the wackiest of stuff that doesn't even makes sense, but however the sensations are just halarious. For example, today me and my family had a BBQ in my aunt's house which lasted from 10AM to 11PM, and everyone is still in my aunt's house for a sleepover. My cousin Michael, decided to cut my beef steak from how it was cut, to a heart, with a hole in the middle. I don't get it, but to him it was funny, to get back at him, before he was going to eat his hot dogs, I sprinkled/dumped salt on it. Let's just say that he spitted it out instantly, and when we went to get a drink from his can of soda, let's say that it tasted like barbaque sauce.

     After we ate the big barbaque for brunch (that's what my aunt called it) it went all uphill. We went inside the house, and me and my cousins had so much fun. My cousin Michael decided to take a swim at the pool, and we were enjoying it, but my cousin Peter decided to prank us by saying that he took a pee in the pool, and we all ran out of it, but however it was just a joke. Also we played Marco Polo, and when I was blinded, my other cousin Jake, decided to trip me, and I feel into the pool. To have revenge on Jake, I decided when we were playing tennis, I pantsed him, and he was soooo embarassed.... It was so funny, and he was wearing something that was so funny.....

     The stuff that we did today in order (at least for me) was:

• Have a BBQ
• Watch TV
• Swim
• Play Marco Polo
• Have a water gun fight
• Splash water around
• Play Tennis
• Eat Dinner
• Write on my blog with my cousin staring

Here's a note from Jake:

     "Victor is nice, but DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT get on his bad side......" (I put the quotes, not Jake)


     Thank's Jake, your so nice..... But whatever, I had so much fun today!!!! I wish that I always have this much fun everyday!!!!

P.S. The older people were playing mahjong.....

Paranoid

     I am not at all being paranoid. Somehow, these couple of days, whenever I look at Yahoo News, there is always something about World War II, Anne Frank, Holocaust..... For example, since I'm so bored right now and I'm rewatching all of Kevjumba's videos, and I just go to Yahoo homepage and right there is the article "Photos of Anne Frank's friends after WWII." The horrific images of the movie The Diary of Anne Frank keeps poping up in my mind. Just thinking of Anne being seperated by force from her father in the train station by the Nazis makes me so sad. It makes me think of being seperated from my mother... That is so sad, and whenever I think of it, it makes me so depressed.......

A Good Memory

     A good memory is mostly a good thing, but however, a coin has two sides to it. Having a good memory has many good things to it, such as suceeding at school, and remembering stuff. However, it can also lead to a life of misery. Sad things that happens to me, I can remember it for a long time, and I keep remembering it, therefore, it keeps haunting me. For example, back to the whole Anne Frank thing, I can remember those horrific scenes for quite a long time. Tonight, for some random reasons, Anne Frank's tortous life, keeps poping up in my head. It is making me really sad, and torturing me. Other things that happened last year, is also haunting me. I do not feel like mentioning what happened but the date, June 17 is a day that I regret forever in my life. I can never repeat what I ever did on that day. I feel as though these memories of sadness would torture me forever........

Horror

     There are several reasons to why I do not like to watch sad, scary and other depressing movies. First reason is that if I watch a sad movie such as Anne Frank I will never get it out of my head. Second, I will remember the scary or sad parts for life, for example, when I think I was like 8, my cousin showed me of a movie, where a guy walks down the staircase, but however, he has no knowledge of a woman ghost, who is crying in the corner, and the whole scene turns green. Third, sometimes when I watch a sad movie such as Anne Frank, I will ocmpare her and me, and whenever I get something specials such as a new pair of $30 jeans, I feel really bad. Well this whole post is mostly about me, after watching Anne Frank like 2 weeks ago. Almost everyday when I shower, I always think of stupid things like me flying, me being rich, me being a king, but however now, after I watched Anne Frank, I always think of:

•  What if the next day in America, they started rounding up Asians?
•  What if I have to go to concentration camp?
•  What if I have to go in hiding?
•  What if my mother or father dies?
•  What if I die?
•  What if..........

     You get what I mean, I'm now being haunted by that movie. I keep think of Anne in the concentration camp, and I'm going crazy. I feel like I want to go to counsueling but however, I don't want to. Seriously, I feel really down, and I'm scared what will happen next in life, would it be good or will I have to suffer. I know I should treasure every moment of my life, but whenver I try, it always ends up bad. I don't know how I'm going to overcome the graphic images....... (and I'm glad I didn't watch till the end).................

Insecurity.......

     Currently I just got a new haircut, and I kinda like it, but I also don't...... I wonder what my friends would say..... Currently I'm indecisive between whether I like it or not......

     What do you think?

"Issues"

     Today I finally had enough with my sister, she treats me disrespectfully, and horribly, so after many years today I finally had enough. I'm starting to have "issues" with my sister..... and now I'm giving her the silent treatment. It's like all over with Vlad from school, but however after several years of mistreatment of me, I'm kind of having trouble with giving her the silent treatment. I so want to yell at her and tell her how I feel, but I much rather stay in my room, and just give her the stupid idiotic silent treatment. I have the feeling that she doesn't even notice that I am avoiding her.
      I have noticed that today's mooon has shifted it's position in the sky once again. It seems less full and becoming less luminous. It might be due to the brighter lights in the area. I don't understand why these past days I'm spending my nights staring at the sky. I feel as if it's becoming an addiction.....

Siblings

     A sibling relationship is suppose to be filled with joy, happiness, and help. Many people I know get along with their siblings even if they do have arguments, but in the end they can always rely on each other. It is the total opposite with my sister. I cannot ever depend on her, trust her, rely on her, or even ask her to do anything for me. My sister is the incarnation of a mean person, to everyone else such as friends, teachers, and ext. she is an angel. But however to family she is the total opposite. She is mean, demanding, and she can tell people to do something for her (and she never says please, or thank you) but no one can tell her to do anything. She is like a witch on the inside, but however, she is masked as an angel. To her friends she is polite, quiet, and nice, but however at home she is the opposite. Yesterday when I was at Cesar's Bay hanging out with my friends, before I left the house she told me to buy her a frosty. I went to buy clothing (and I got some really great skinny jeans) and hang out, but I had plans afterwards. I wanted to go to 86th street with my friends and have fun, but she said no. She told me that I had to come home straight away so her frosty won't melt. I had to stand in line for 25 minutes because there was so many people, and each person ordered like 5 trays of food. And when I came home all she said was "Why is my frosty melted?" She didn't even say thank you. I was suffering in line, and all I got from her was an insult. I so wanted to rip the stupid frosty out of her hands and throw it on the floor, and tell her she didn't deserve it, but however, I somehow held it all in..... There is no word of how I can describe my anger at this sibling relationship between me and her. All I can think of is that she uses me, and she never even says thank you, but somehow each time after everything I still obey her commands like a dog. I guess that I am just a too nice of a person. Sometimes I say no, and she starts saying that she will never buy me candy again...... But however I notice that whenever she buys me candy, it is always when she is going out just to buy candy and nothing else, I never ask her to change her plans with her friends just for me. It seems that as I am just a peasant to her, while she is the queen. She is so disrespectful to me, but I guess that is what a family member is here for, to help you even in the most gruesome case. However I do wonder whether she thinks of me as a brother, or as just another person to do her bidding................

Graduation

     Graduations are symbolic of where you complete one milestone in your self, but however, it starts you on your next journey of your life. As anyone hopes, the happiness of a graduation, the self-pride, and feeling of completeness would last forever, but however it would not. After you complete a graduation, you endure a feeling of emptiness, a trail of self want, and trying to find the next step in your life. For exmaple, after my graduation of middle school, I cannot expect what would happen next year in Midwood High School. Will it be fun? Sad? Horrible? Will I meet any new friends? Will I be popular? Will I be smart? Will I be average? Will I be below average? I cannot ask a thousand questions, but however, every night before I sleep, I ask myself these questions. I do not know what to expect, I go though a feeling of being a child all over again. However there I one good thing of changing schools, I will start once again on a new clean slate. I don't have to be the smart, perfect student that I was in middle school. I could just be a friendly, somewhat smart guy that everyone enjoys hanging around. But however, I don't know how to do that. [I just cannot believe how much I am pouring my soul into this one post.] Feeling lost is not a good feeling to have, neither is doubt, nor helplessness. I wonder what the next school year would be like.....................

A Promise

     Promises are something where you vow to do something forever, but somehow many people are always breaking their promises. Promises can be foolish to someone, but however to another, it might mean the world. Promises are something that is really important, and when you make a promise you try your best to not break it. But somehow, my family is always breaking promises, even though they try not too. I usually don't break promises to other people, but however, I find myself always breaking promises, that I promise myself. For example, this summer I vowed to go to summer school, but however, I am not in nor am I going to attend summer school. This summer I just want to relax, sit by the window, and gaze at the sun the whole day. Right now instead of gazing at the sun, I'm sky watching a dark starless sky, that just has a  moon as it's only and center piece. Promising something is a big thing, and before you make one, you should always ask yourself, "Will I be able to keep this promise?" and if the answer is no, don't make it, instead tell the person the truth instead, tell them instead "I cannot promise, but however, I will try my hardest to                           ."  The more I think upon this subject the more I can of people voiding promises. For example, when you get married, the priest will ask you do you accept (blank person) as your (blank) and you say "I do" the words "I do" are like a promise of keeping him'/her forever in your life as your counterpart. However, i n the United States, 1 in 2 marriages ends up in divorce, or living separately. Also, when you are married, you vow to be forever truthful, but however, many married couples keeps secrets from one another. (Am I talking too much about marriages?) Whenever you make a promise, make sure that you could keep it. <--- That is a very helpful advice, because once you void a promise, no one will ever trust in you again, and I mean FOREVER!!!

The Starry/Not So Starry Night Sky

     The Night Sky to me is a blessing, it;s so serene yet it its own way a whole new busy world. Outside in the dark night sky I can imagine a whole mythical world filled with it's own creatures, dragons, elves, pixies, fairies, ect. And within its core, is the big full moon. Although tonight I'm not sure if the moon is full, to me it is a beautiful full moon. While it's emitting a luminous vibrant white glow with an aura of yellow, it reminds me  of a TV show. Just off topic for a moment, in the TV show called, T.U.F.F. Puppy, an evil villainous rat thought that the moon was made of cheese and he wanted to destroy it because he is allergic to cheese. Also, what rats are allergic to cheese? I though that cheese is like their favorite food, but however I might be wrong because that is just a famous stereotype. Anyway, back on topic of the night sky, in New York, you can't really see a night sky filled with stars, it's already hard to see the moon, so how could you see the stars? It makes me really sad, the stars are beautiful yet we New Yorkers cannot appreciate a beautiful night sky filled with stars. [Sigh]

     Each star might be it's own world where we cannot see, we might be seen to other worlds as just another bright star filled with artificial light which are blocking their lights from being see by us. A starry night is nothing special to people living in the middle area of the United States, but however in New York it is something close to impossible. With street and house lights always being lit, the glow of a star is overshadowed and becomes invisible. Sight of a moon is somewhat rare, but however I do believe one day, the beauties of the night sky would be visible to people living in New York. 

     The beauty of the night sky might not be brought to us, but however we can bring ourselves to it. For example, we could go on a vacation to somewhere, such as Texas where there are much fewer light sources, and we could gaze at the beautiful night sky. (Am I becoming too redundant?)